Twisted
Gut aching
Heart calling
I know the direction
Just need forward motion
For all parts of my being
To move together in kind
Living as one cohesive piece
More heart
Less mind
Shift
Transition
Progress
Evolve
Answers inside
Each problem solved
Nurture
Your nature
Foster
True being
Love is my first action
Living is believing
Let’s get twisted
I wonder when
I wonder when I might stop and suspend
The feeling that I am not whole from within
That the more I might balance and bend
The closer I’ll get to that oh so sweet end
But the end has already arrived and informed
The sensation that I must each day be reborn
To an abyss of love no longer new
But old and refurbished, hidden from view
I wonder when
I had a moment of wonder the other day and those few lines spilled from my heart. It’s a silly rhyme but it continues to speak to me. And I thought it may speak to you as well.
My aim is to share enthusiasm and wonder with others, to stimulate curiosity and inspire more joy in everyday being. This world can be frustrating, nonsensical, overwhelming, and plain exhausting. But hot damn can it be magnificent too. I hope my words and actions give you a boost on a hard day, or maybe help you see a little light at the end of what might be the darkest tunnel.
The only aspect to life that is truly sustainable is the love you have within you.
People are beautiful, but like you, they’re mostly concerned with their own well being, their own expression, their own fulfillment.
You must support yourself, uplift yourself, give to yourself and others what you need to sustain, remain, let go of shame, stop complaining and eliminate blaming.
We are multi-faceted, so the goodness you see in yourself and others does not manifest how you’d imagine. This feels disappointing, lonely, confusing.
But the other who’s utilizing communication only for their gain, only for their podium of arrogance or vomit, their ironic misappropriations, their moronic denigrations, can only serve to limit themselves and create space between who they are and who they could be.
It’s difficult to remember the oneness we all possess.
It’s even harder to give yourself what you feel no one else can, because you want it in the form of connection.
We all are just on a quest to fulfill needs.
We’re all pimps and prostitutes within the same breath.
We buy into something, and aim to sell another.
Very few are your real brothers and mothers.
There is so much goodness, but its direction is erratic and mostly it’s used to self-serve.
Serving others for their predetermined response is not selfless. It’s dangerous.
This world, no matter how we all try or seem to know the truth, fosters and rewards the negative, the status quo, and the planets below.
Solitude is imperative, an independent freedom from thought.
Thought within self, and the incessant stream of thought expressed by another, by every other and their mother and brother. But not your brother.
We must want sincerely the contentment and awakening of others, but only concern ourselves with enlightenment within.
The responsibility to be good lies in one human being.
Nothing anyone else does to you carries meaning.
Only how you perceive it. Only the way you digest it. And manifest it.
Only you are responsible. Only you are in control. Only you have the power.
But that power lies within you. It must be extracted and exuded with care and with zero expectation.
You must place your hopes and dreams on you and you alone.
No one owes us a thing.
Even your mother. Your brother. Your friends.
No matter your contribution.
No matter your level of nourishment.
No matter your investment.
Give to give and then let it go.
Even if no one will ever know.
Let go.
Not because of obligation do you give your best self.
Not because of imagination do you pursue idealism.
Not because of expectation do you act out of generosity.
Nor should you simply hoard these facets of goodness because of perceived scarcity.
Because of an assumed lack in positive retaliation.
Because of a current stagnation.
It is in these moments, you should seek solitude and reconvene with your better self.
It is here that you realize goodness cannot be contained.
It will suffocate, implode.
Allowing negativity to explode, project.
Debris for miles.
Destroyer of smiles.
All because of contrived generosity, phony care and disingenuous kindness.
Because of blindness.
One must not be discouraged by the pervasive mediocrity.
Only you can rise. Exhibit prosperity.
Showcase charity.
Only you can be courageous. Hoping it’s contagious.
Only you can make giving into a living.
Only you can translate being into seeing.
Only you can live in alignment with truth.
Only you can find a noble pursuit.
Only you can embody joy. Appreciation. Enthusiasm.
Only you can choose your frequency.
One with the flow, life’s apparent sequencey.
Only you can Love in the way you need.
Only you can be fully realized. You are the growth and the seed.
Only you can merely, simply, potentially; not eventually, but essentially, Be.
I used to feel that life was very black and white, and to be strong in your convictions was important; therefore, you must choose one or the other. Through life experiences, exposure and absorption of provocative art, cerebral and esoteric conversations and the down and dirty practice of Yoga, I’ve not only become more comfortable with gray, but I’m now embracing contradiction, the existence of hypocrisy and the potential for relating and understanding many angles to arguments and the endless spectrum in which people live their lives. There are some key issues that haven’t changed, they’ve probably deepened, but for the most part I’m becoming more comfortable in the unknown, in the ambiguity of life. And I’m grateful. It is deeply mystifying to explore the duality of life. Being a student and teacher of Yoga, a practice meant to be inclusive, gathering, welcoming, awareness driven but never preachy, enlightenment as intention with emphasis on lessons to be gleaned from darkness and suffering, has nailed down what is really important, and diminished the weight of what is not. It resonates and elevates beyond the confines of the mat. It has taught me to radiate Yoga out and in turn, harness it deeper within.
This is all very granola, somewhat cliché hippy dippy talk. I’m fine with that. My delving into the practice led me toward explorations and relationships that now make me better and my form of expression is words. Words are meaningless, but they’re all I have. I cannot paint (my art teacher made fun of me, seriously). I do not sing (to others, you’re welcome for that). I love to dance but do not have the lifelong acquired skill to express my feelings and interpret for others to enjoy, except in the creation of my vinyasa sequences. I cannot operate a camera with more than 5 settings (I leave that to the very talented and skilled men in my life). For me, I feel strong when I share, in teaching and in scribing, speaking and corresponding. I’ve been crippled by excessive self-awareness, questioning my skills, whether anyone would want to listen or read, and similar to excessive confidence and the lack of self-awareness, each are driven by the ego, by fear. Yoga shines a light on the ego’s dark existence, bringing in an awareness that slowly dissolves fear and a presence in which the ego simply cannot survive. I’ve slowly gotten over myself, not thinking of myself as great, but also not thinking of myself as inadequate. I am perfectly adequate, and so are you. I care, deeply, for people and for my life to have meaning, to feel effectual and align the external with the internal. Again, duality.
Below started as a game of wordplay, of antonyms, of complexity, and of analyzing the meaning of Yoga, both literally and figuratively. Yoga’s root word is yolk, meaning union, the roots being the union of unconscious and conscious, horizontal and vertical, mortality and divinity. What arrived after a long, run-on sentence, was somewhat of an interesting poem, and keeping in line with everything Yoga has extracted and taught, I thought instead of hoarding it, fearing its unworthiness and doubting its purpose, why not share in something many of us already love, a truth you already know, and share with some who may not have felt the magic of Yoga yet, but perhaps you can relate in your own way. We all can be yogic, being able to touch your toes or twist into a pretzel has very little to do with the intended results. Some of the most beautiful yogis in my life either cannot or do not practice what we’d all assume to be this ancient practice. It has proven benefits for your mind, body and soul, brings a deeper appreciation of this very second, eliminates psychological time, and fosters a very supportive and fun community.
I can only hope I’ve had a fraction of the impact on my students as they’ve had on me. My persistent goal is to keep learning. We’re never finished, treating the means as the end makes the end unpredictably sweeter and the journey exponentially more potent and alive. I’m no longer anxious for what tomorrow will bring or incessantly focused on having a plan. I’m embracing presence as a priority and allowing the path to unfold before my eyes. I’ve recognized I do not have all the answers and I do not need them, I’m open and willing to learn them as I’m exposed, being kinder to myself and reverberating that to my world, hoping it’s boundless. I wish for not only the people I love, but also the people so wrecked with pain, those I still do not understand, and those I’ll never meet, to find their own yogic truth. Who you are is beautiful, give fear and your ego a big middle finger. Give yourself the gift of yoga.
Shanti (peace) and Namaste (I see you, the light in me acknowledges, respects, the light in you.).
Union
Symbiosis
Mind and body
Human and mat
Ego and essence
Time versus presence
Self doubt and confidence
Fear and passion
Art and skill
Strength and flexibility
Inhaling and exhaling
Rooting down and rising up
Succeeding and failing
Contentment and insatiability
Stamina and Stillness
Energy high and energy low
Sun and snow
Hatha and flow
Knowing and unknown
Yin and Yang
Human and Being
We’re all the same
mastic8onthis 